Once again, in the weeks preceding an election, the wretched little network pundits practiced their Daily Affirmation:
I’m going to do a terrific show today.
I’m going to help people by telling them how to think and what to believe.
I’m smart enough, they’re stupid enough, and gosh darn it we’re going to win this time!
Then the results come in, they suffer another humiliating defeat, and, confused, they morph from Stuart Smalley into Monty Python’s Black Knight:
Loss? What loss? We actually won. No one stops the Progressive Party. WE’RE INVINCIBLE!
The spin from the left after Ossoff’s loss is nastier than Linda Blair’s head in The Exorcist, as two months of, “This election will be a referendum of the Trump administration!” quickly dissolves into, “Georgia? Meh.”
The pundits preached that the Georgia special election would be a rebuke on Trump. And as usual, their push polls had Ossoff winning, some by as many as five points. Then the votes came in, followed quickly by the excuses:
It shouldn’t have been this close, so . . . win!
Redistricting (because Democrats never gerrymander.)
Rain. (Bad weather prevented their bellwether? Rain is partisan?)
The shooting of congressman Scalise (When they go low, they go real low.)
But the most asinine excuse came from the loser himself, Jonathan Ossoff, who blamed big money, decrying PACS that put up millions of dollars for attack ads.
He spent $22,532,609.57 compared to his opponents $3,158,847.03, but he’s whining for campaign finance reform. That is Hillary-level lack of self-awareness, right there.
Next up – “Russia, Russia, Russia” and global warming.
Denial and delusion, the drug of choice for Democrats.
And this week’s beating in Georgia? “Tis but a scratch.”
If I were Press Secretary Sean Spicer . . .
I would walk into the next briefing and announce I’ll be switching roles with the media for the day, and I will be asking them questions. On a wall-size projection screen behind me I put up a screen shot of the now famous photo of the CNN news desk after it became clear that Handel had defeated Ossoff.
I point at CNN’s Jim Acosta, effectively preempting the anchor’s daily bitch about not being called on. “Jim,” I say as I use a laser pointer to highlight the faces on the screen, “Can you tell us what happened here? Did somebody fart? Did Hillary’s dog die? Don’t look now, Jimbo, but your network’s bias slip is showing.”
Then I’d make him go stand in the corner.
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