A playful celebration of fatherhood, complete with dad jokes and one-liners, captures dads at their wittiest and most lovable.Does Mother’s Day get more attention than Father’s Day?
Search out that question online, or simply look around you, and the answer is affirmative. Mothers do attract more interest on their special day than fathers. Companies budget more for advertising for Mother’s Day than Father’s Day. Children spend more on Mom, are more likely to take her out to restaurants for a special meal, and are more attentive with the cards and phone calls.
Some explain this disparity by noting that federal recognition of Mother’s Day in 1914 has a much longer history when compared with 1972 for the dads. In general, moms are also the primary hands-on caregivers in the family, which may partially explain the greater attention paid them. And let’s face it, most of us spent the first nine months of life enjoying free room and board courtesy of Mom. Only when nature issues its eviction notice do we leave those comforts and meet Dad in the flesh.
Significantly as well, most sons and daughters find shopping for Mom much easier than shopping for Dad. When we’re stuck for ideas, we can always buy Mom those quintessential Mother’s Day favorites—flowers and chocolate—but with Dad we usually have to put on our thinking caps and do some more serious shopping.
Dad Jokes
“When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”
Mix together some puns and other wordplay, add a bushel of corny predictability, and go after groans rather than laughter, and you’ve probably got yourself a good dad joke. These jokes have become so ubiquitous that they compose a genre all their own—literally hundreds of dad joke books are on the market. Even when you don’t intend your witticism to fall into this category, people will snort and say, “That’s a dad joke for sure.”
Here’s a sampling:
Son: “Dad, I’m really considering moving to Northern Europe.” Dad: “What? No’way!”
Son: “We’re having a barbecue this weekend with the family.” Dad: “Well, don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill…”
“I went to Cole’s Farm Stand to buy some cabbage. However, the sales assistant told me that legally, I had to buy carrots and mayo, too. Apparently, it’s Cole’s Law.”
Child: “Dad, can we get a pet dog?” Dad: “Why don’t you get a pet tree instead?” Child: “Why would we get a pet tree?” Dad: “It’s just like a pet dog, but the bark’s quieter.”
Zingers
As a parent of four and a longtime teacher, I found that one of the great adult pleasures is tormenting teens with bad jokes. I’m sure that many dads with teenagers are familiar with their classic eye roll. Fire off a few of the question-and-answer quips below, and your kids’ eyes will be rolling like marbles across glass. Remember: Pain builds character.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Common Dad Expressions
We’ve all heard at least one of these—or else we’ve said them:
I’m not sleeping—I’m just resting my eyes.
Go ask your mother.
A little hard work never hurt anybody.
No pain, no gain.
If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
Wit and Wisdom
Long ago, television personality Art Linkletter hosted “Kids Say the Darnedest Things.” Sometimes dads say the darnedest things too, often containing valuable advice and lessons that typically fly right over the heads of their young listeners.
Falsely attributed to Mark Twain, here’s a quote demonstrating how this delayed communication works: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
“‘Carmen,’ Dad replied. ‘Talking is like ketchup. If you like the meat enough, you don’t need the ketchup—and if you like the company enough, you don’t need the conversation.’ My dad never earned a college degree, but he was the smartest person I ever knew.’”
Here’s Lewis’s description of the natty dresser and accomplished traveler: “Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam’s on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.”
His favorite mode of travel was his “used pop-up camper,” and “he only stayed in the finest quality AAA-rated campgrounds.”
Love and Laughter
As we read this obituary, the love and respect behind Lewis’s sweet tongue-in-cheek goodbye to her father quickly become apparent. He taught his daughters “to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful.” She clearly took pride in her father’s professional achievements as well, noting, for instance, his years spent as an educator in a community college, where “he taught thousands and thousands of Mississippians during his life.” Her humorous and polished descriptions shine with affection.
Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff rightly noted, “If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.” The dad who laughs and brings laughter to others commands the treasure box of love.
So, to all dads, here’s to you and to a day of love and laughter along with whatever else takes your fancy: a game of golf, a barbecue, a game of catch with the kids, or a solid “I’m just resting my eyes” session of snoring on your La-Z-Boy.